


Nothing Some Good Pot Can't Fix

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Bisexual Katsuki Yuuri, Brownies, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Character's Name Spelled as Yuri, Crying, Crying Katsuki Yuuri, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Established Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Katsuki Yuuri Needs a Hug, M/M, Marijuana, Paranoia, Yuri Plisetsky Is A Little Shit, Yuri Plisetsky Is So Done, Yuri Plisetsky Swears, Yuri Plisetsky is a Brat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22841704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: Yura and Otabek make some "special" brownies for Leo's birthday, what they don't expect is for Yuri to devour the entire pan during an anxiety-driven eating binge and get higher than a kiteIf only it was the the nice mellow giggly type of high instead of the sobbing, screaming, "I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE" type of high
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Comments: 4
Kudos: 138





	Nothing Some Good Pot Can't Fix

**Author's Note:**

  * For [venom_for_free](https://archiveofourown.org/users/venom_for_free/gifts).



> So I wrote this on request from Venom, about Yura and Otabek making some pot brownies that Yuri accidentally eats and... _well_

"This is going to be the best birthday party _EVER_ , you're going to go down in best freind history!"

"I think that's a bit of an exaggeration for _pot brownies_ Yura..."

"Oh please, it isn't _just_ the pot brownies, these are just the best part,"

Otabek still didn't know how exactly he had gotten roped into this

Leo's twenty-first birthday was just a few days away and to celebrate his family and freinds had booked a vacation for him to travel and see his freinds, he had already been to China and picked up Guang Hong to join him on his trip, as well as having already visited Thailand to see Phichit

Now he was making his stop in Russia to see Otabek, the four of them having planned to go out partying that night, stopping at the apartment first for the brownies and then heading to some clubs

Leo and Guang Hong didn't know yet about the pot brownies, but knowing Leo as he did, Otabek was quite confident that he would be happy to find out about them

"They look surprisingly good, I didn't know you knew how to bake,"

"Oh Beka, I have many talents," Yura winked playfully

Otabek wasn't arguing, he knew quite a few of them

"Now we just have to make sure we don't let Viktor or Katsudon near them,"

"Why would either of them want pot brownies? Aren't they a little too straight-laced for that?"

"Because they both have a sweet tooth and they aren't going to find out about the pot, you're exactly right Beka, 'laced' is the only thing _straight_ about either of them,"

"What's the only straight thing about who?"

Spinning around, Yura glared on instinct at Viktor as he entered the kitchen

"None of your business old man,"

Viktor just rolled his eyes, but evidently decided not to push the issue

"Yuuuuuririiiii~ I have a surprise for you my love~" he called, perking as Yuri poked his head out of the living room, answering Viktor's call

"You do?"

"Yes! Guess who called me today?"

"Who?"

"Someone with that late show you like, the American one? They wanted to know if we would be interested in being guests next month! It's not too close to the start of qualifiers so Ii said yes! Isn't that exciting!?"

"What the hell!? Why are they contacting **YOU**!?" Yura shouted

"I'm the one they SHOULD be interested in! I'm a prodigy!"

"Because we have a cute love story that the internet adores," Viktor winked back, only furthering Yura's ill mood

"And we don't have a history of dropping F bombs during every interveiw," he added a second later

Yura glared, but he was hardly Viktor's biggest concern at the moment

"Viktor.... you didn't even talk to me first...?"

Otabek decided that this was a good time to turn around and sip his coffee

"W-Well... no...? I thought you would be happy zolotse....?"

"But you know I suck at public speaking, I hate interveiws, and talking about myself always makes me nervous, don't you think you should have considered talking to me first?"

Viktor looked crestfallen, his shoulders sagging

"I'm sorry my love... it... just didn't occur to me, but I'll fix it, don't worry! I'll just call and cancel,"

"No don't- .... don't do that, I don't want to cause any trouble,"

"Yuri, it won't be any trouble, I only accepted an hour ago-"

"No! I don't... I don't want them to think we're unreliable, that's unprofessional..."

"Yuri please, it isn't a big deal, I don't think there will be any negative-"

"I don't want to risk it, I just... I just wish you had asked me first, that's all..."

Viktor frowned, not hesitating another moment before crossing the room and wrapping his arms tightly around his husband, squeezing and kissing his head lightly

"Yurochka, just tell me whatever you need me to do to fix this, ok? Anything at all, my love, let me make it better, please?"

"Yura.. let's go double check Leo's flight info," Otabke muttered under his breath

"Wha? Why? He should be in already-"

Otabek cleared his throat, making a vague gesture over to the other couple

"....Oh, right, ok, flight info... alright then,"

With that, they headed upstairs, content to let the brownies cool, not to mention the slightly heated couple as well

~+~

"Do you think enough time has passed?"

"Iit's been over an hour, I'd be worried if it hadn't,"

Nodding, Yura made his way down to the stairs, Otabek right behind him

"Where's Viktor?"

"He left...." Yur mumbled miserably from the couch

"What?!"

"He left and he's never coming back, I'm gonna be alone forever, live alone, die alone, like an unwanted dog, except dogs atleast have the benefit of being cute, what do I have? Nothing,"

"What the fuck Katsudon!? That's bleak even for you!"

Otabek frowned, moving closer and carefully sitting on the edge of the couch next to him

"There must be some mistake...."

"Yeah, me, I'm the mistake," Yuri sniffed

Yura, eyes rolling at the melodrama, made his way to the kitchen to check on the brownies, slipping his phone out of his pocket to text Viktor

_Not that I care, but what did you do to your husband? Did you actually leave him?_

"Um.... Yura..... we have a problem...."

"What?!"

Putting his phone back in his pocket, Yura's initial thought of what "The Problem" might be was Yuri getting snot on Otabek's new shirt, being that the older skater was currently rubbing his tear-streaked face all over Yura's boyfreind

In about ten seconds, he was going to be _wishing_ that was the only problem

"The brownies...."

"Huh?"

Glancing down at the stove where he had left them, he noticed that the brownies.... _were gone_

Panicked, Yura raced to the living room and stared down in dread at the nearly spotless pan that had once contained their "special" brownies

"Oh Katsudon no!!!!"

"Why does everyone yell at me?! I'm fragile!" Yuri sobbed, causing Otabek to flinch as he immediately dove to cry into his chest again

"Fucking shit...." Yura groaned in annoyance

"Now we have to make an entirely new batch of brownies, we don't have any canabutter left and we barely have enough weed to make more,"

"Is that really your biggest concern right now?"

"....I mean.... I don't know if I'd say **biggest**.... it's **a** concern.... we don't have five hours to spare...."

Oh, Otabek looked disappointed, how unfortunate

Before his boyfreind could express that disappointment however, the familiar sound of his text tone went off, prompting him to give it a quick check

_What!? What are you talking about!? What's wrong with Yuri!?_

Oh, well, here was definitely a bigger problem

"Hey Beka.... what do you think is the least concerning way to tell Viktor that Katsudon is freaking out on a bad trip without actually telling him that he's tripping?"

Otabek stared up at him incredulously, but really, Yura didn't know hwhy he was so surprised

Meanwile, Yuri decided to distract them both from the issue at hand... by reminding them of the _other_ issue at hand

"Ii'm going to die alone!" he screamed miserably

"No you're not-"

"Yes I am! Viktor was my only chance at love and I ruined it! I'll never love again, I don't even WANT to love again!!"

"Yuri, Viktor hasn't left you," Otabek promised reassuringly

"Ofcourse he has! And why wouldn't he? I'm a failure, nobody wants to be with a failure..."

"You're a gold medalist, as long as you have gold you can't be a failure, you fucking idiot," Yura huffed from beside Otabek, who glanced up at him with a mildly annoyed look on his face

"I'm glad to hear it's gold _specifically_ that prevents someone from being a failure,"

Yura's mouth fell open, totally shocked

"I-...you-... Otabek!! You know what I mean!"

Still, he supposed that on occasion being the only one in the house who _hadn't_ won a gold medal at anything higher than qualifiers yet could be straining on him but-...

"One ridiculous worry at a time, _please_!"

"It's not just skating, it's my entire life!" Yuri insisted with another loud sob

"I'm past my prime now and what do I have to show for it? Viktor is the world's most amazing person and I'm just a box of anxiety on skates, I probably only won because the judges took pity on me, oh god, I'm a total loser..."

"You're not a _total_ loser," Yura corrected, earning another pointed look from Otabek, although this time the blonde couldn't quite figure out why

"And Viktor hasn't left you, he's so in love with you that whatever minimal brain cells he ever had to begin with have been replaced with tiny one-celled organisms that are only capable of spouting off compliments about you, wich is annoying as fuck but none the less devoted, Viktor is-"

***Buzz***

_Ok, you're scaring the hell out of me, I'm on my way home_

".....-going to murder us both over this..." Yura muttered as he stared down at his phone screen, hurrying to type back a reply

_Oh my god STAY GONE you fucking buzzkill!! Let me live five minutes of my life without you up my ass!!!_

The "sent" tone had barely rung before he received another text

_Funny, I heard you saying the exact opposite to Otabek last night_

.....

Yura was going to commit a murder

"I just want Viktor back... I'd take it all back if I could! I'll do whatever interveiw he wants me to do! I'll do anything he ever wants me to do EVER if I can just have him back in my life!!"

.....

Scratch that, Yura was going to commit _two_ murders

_Also if you want me gone that badly then I KNOW something is wrong and I'm about to risk a speeding ticket to prove it, and more importantly, fix it, now tell me what's wrong with my husband!_

Yura, having no response to this that he thought would actually work, realized that this could- ironically- be the opportunity he needed for something far better than settling Viktor's issues

"Look you dumb pig, see? Viktor is worried about you, he's totally obsessed with you, if you go all crazy and leave because you think he's gonna leave you first he's gonna turn all 'Every Breath You Take' on you,"

The look on Otabek's face- ever changing to suit the appropriate levels of "What the fuck?"- had changed to one of concern now

"Yura there's alot wrong with that sentence but I'm going to start with the obvious one-"

"Oh my god Viktor's going to jail!!" Yuri screamed, effectively cutting off whatever Otabek was about to say

".....What?"

"Viktor is going to SPEED! He's going to speed and get caught and go to jail oh GOD do you know what happens to pretty people in jail?! He's gonna get killed like Katalin Hunyak!!"

....

How did this clusterfuck keep getting worse?

"What the hell is he talking about now?"

"I believe that was a _Chicago_ reference," Otabek stated flatly

"Sure, Katsudon _would_ be gay enough to make a vague theater reference in the middle of a drug-induced mental break down,"

" _I'M BI!!_ "

That uncharacteristic screaming was followed by another bout of horrible sobs as he nearly rolled off of the couch, only stopped by Otabek having to reel him in

"Oh my god what if that's why Viktor is leaving me!? What if he's afraid I'm actually straight?! What if he's too gay for me!? But I love gay people! My own husband is gay! I'm not bi because I don't wanna be gay I just can't help it! I can't help if I find Ruby Rose outrageously attractive, I think that's reasonable!"

There's a meme Yura has seen of a place on fire with all kinds of miniature disasters happening within it- a woman beating someone with a broom, a guy on fire running in front of a camera, some large animal chewing on what's probably a corpse in the corner.....

Yura feels like he's part of that meme

"To be fair, Ruby Rose IS outrageously attractive," Otabek noted casually

Yura slowly turned towards him, a look of exhaustion and disbeleif on his face

"Really? Is now the time to start getting bi-curious?"

"No I'm still firmly gay, I'm just saying, I understand the appeal,"

"Oh no I"m sorry Otabek I didn't mean to turn you bi! Yura this is my fault please don't leave him! Don't let me ruin another relationship!!!"

"Well _I'm_ about to get a little bi- _furious_ if we don't find a way to shut him up!"

"How long have you been waiting to make that reference?"

"About two years,"

If anything, Otabek atleast seemed to appreciate a well-timed pun

"Alright, surely there has to be some way to calm him down, something we can give him," Otabek reasoned a second later

"No, it just has to wear off on it's own, I think," Yura sighed sadly, watching in distress as Yuri tried to catch his breath, the intensity of his screaming and sobbing having apparently exhausted him, honestly Yura wasn't surprised, his voice had even started going hoarse....

"I don't understand though, shouldn't weed make him feel _good_? That's the same shit they use to treat anxiety disorders right? That's what he has, he should be _enjoying_ this,"

"Not necessarily," Otabek frowned

"CBD oil is what you're thinking of, wich isn't the same as smoking pot, it's the THC he's having a reaction to and alot of people react to that differently, wile some find it relaxing, others find it paranoia-inducing, and with his anxiety disorder, it's not hard to reason that a paranoid reaction to anyone else would be panic-on-a-platter to him, plus, the amount and the fact that he consumed it rather than smoked it has alot to do with how he's reacting as well,"

"How the hell do you know so much about this shit? From Leo?"

"Not really, more from my sister, she smokes for her anxiety and has told me a few things," Otabek shrugged back, shifting a little to fish his phone out of his pocket

"I'm _sure_ she told me about something that can be given to someone having a bad high to calm them down..."

"Good luck with that, I never figured anything out,"

Otabek, who was still dealing with the lap full of Yuri, stared up at his boyfreind in mild concern

"This happened to you before?"

"Well certainly not _this_ for fuck's sake, but... my first brownie didn't go so well,"

"And yet you tried it again? Who were you with the first time?"

Yura shrugged, face a bit pink as he twirled his hair

"I.... wanted to try it with you because.. I thought it'd be better if I did.... and I was right, trying it alone was just a bad idea I guess,"

"The first time you got high you were alone? Yeah, that's definitely a bad idea," Otabek frowned, reaching out with his free hand for Yura's, bringing him closer and kissing his finger's, much to the blonde's delight

It would have been a nice moment if not for the noises of distress Yuri was making

"So, you think you can combat this shit?" Yura asked as Otabek reluctantly turned back to his phone

"I think so... if I can just remember-... _ah_ , here it is, black pepper,"

"What about it?"

"Supposedly if he chews on some of it it'll clear up the paranoia,"

"Cool!! Can we film that!?"

The stern look of disapproval on Otabek's face spoke louder than any words ever could

Magnificent

"Some say just getting a wiff of the smell will do the same thing, we have pepper in the cabinet right?"

"Yeah, we have it ground and full,"

"Bring both, let's see what he reacts to,"

Unfortunately, before Yura could even get to the kitchen, the sound of the front door opening rang out, and Yuri practically launched himself off of Otabek, half running, half stumbling to greet his husband like a really desperate dog or a baby giraffe

"Viktor!!! Viktor oh thank god!!!!! You didn't leave me!" he screamed, throwing himself at his husband so hard that the older skater tumbled backwards, damn near falling on the porch as he struggled to contain the excitable wreckage in his arms

"What? _Leave you_? Oh Yuri, why on earth would I ever-"

The pause came with a sudden dawning of realization and a look of utter fury- cold as ice and as menacing as an angry cobra as the silver-haired skater turned his attention to his roommates

"I don't know what this is yet," he said calmly

"But you're both dead meat,"

~+~

"S-So you... you're really not.... gonna leave me....?"

"Oh my darling golden heart, I wouldn't leave you for any reason in any universe, no matter what Yuri, I'm your's and you're mine, ok? For the rest of eternity,"

Viktor punctuated that wad of sap with a delicate kiss to Yuri's hand before holding up the pepper for him to sniff

Much to the shock and releif of everyone around him, the internet had been right, and within seconds, Yuri's paranoid state had dulled down into the relaxing floating state that was usually associated with pot

"Yuri? I'm right here sweetheart, I'm just going to talk to Yura and Otabek alone for a moment ok?" Viktor asked softly, settling a tablet down in front of Yuri and gently placing a some headphones over his ears the moment he had a nod of approval

"Good, you watch this, I'll be right back,"

Punctuated with a kiss to the head, Viktor hit "play" on an episode of the How To Train Your Dragon series and let the headphones and colorfull animation do the rest of the work

He would have tried for Scooby Doo but figured with the paranoia having only just eased, something about monsters- silly or not- was possibly not the greatest idea

"Now.... _you two_ ," he seethed, eyes narrowing as he approached Yura and Otabek

"What were you thinking!? I'm not even sure what I'm more upset about, you two doing drugs or leaving them out in the open unsupervised for someone else to get into!"

"Ok _Dad_ , first of all it's none of your business what we do in our own time, it isn't even your business what we do in our _professional_ time, you're not our coach! We don't smoke, so it won't interfere with our skating-"

"Do you not realize they do random drug testing!?"

"Do _you_ not realize the season hasn't even started yet? I would certainly _hope_ to have pee fresher than this in the next two months,"

Viktor looked absolutely flabbergasted- _good_

"And second of all it isn't our responsibility to label our shit to keep out people who shouldn't be eating it in the first place because it's OUR. SHIT."

Viktor was simmering

He was looking angrier and angrier

A beat passed

Then two

Then three

Before finally-

"You do realize you left that out where Potya could get into it right?"

...........................................................

_Oh_

..........

Yura really hadn't considered that......

But Viktor was definitely not wrong

Makkachin was one thing, but Potya had a history of climbing onto the counter and getting into whatever was left out...

Evidently seeing realization dawn on Yura's face, Viktor exhaled, crossing his arms over his chest

"Yura, when you share space with other living creatures- I don't care who or what they are- you have to be very cautious about leaving harmfull materials within their reach, I hate saying this but you're lucky that it was Yuri who got into the brownies and not Potya or Makkachin, even if they hadn't had pot in them that much chocolate could have made either of them very ill, I've been chasing my tail with this interveiw thing all day and am too tired to properly debate drugs with you right now but you _have_ to be more considerate of your living space, this isn't about just Yuri and I, and it isn't just about drugs either, you don't even notice half the time that you leave dangerous things lying around that one of the furbabies could get ahold of or that someone could trip on in the middle of the night, Yura.... I know you're used to living virtually alone, but you can't be that irresponsible when you're living with other creatures,"

He paused, looking up at Otabek

"You too,"

Yura would never say the words "Viktor is right", but he did have a point

Living with Lilia had been more like living in adjoining apartments than sharing a space, she kept to her spaces and he kept to his, neither really bothered the other, and Yura usually kept good enough track of Potya then to avoid mistakes like this, it was alot easier when there was less space to worry about and Lilia to guard places like the kitchen, he had just never thought about it before

"So what exactly are you saying? That we should have warned you fuckers that we made pot brownies or that we should have cooled them someplace out of reach?"

"Both, you have to have different considerations for different creatures in your household, and it isn't asking too much just to be notified that are drugs in my household, pot is illegal in Russia in case you've forgotten, and it's mine and Yuri's names on the lease, therefore if something were to happen and this house was searched it would be _us_ taking the fall for that, not you, I think that alone is deserving of a notification, if not for the health hazards, don't you?"

Yura had a pretty hard time arguing with that one

It was one thing to say that they should keep out of food that didn't belong to them, but it was another to claim being right in smuggling something illegal into their house and not tell them about it

"So what do you want then?"

"For now? Better attention to be spent on things like this in the future, and to respect us enough to notify us when you're going to be doing something like this,"

Once again, Yura hated to admit it, but that wasn't the most demonic and unreasonable request he'd ever heard

"Fine..."

"And in the future, when something like this happens- and I shudder to know that I have to use the word _when_ but here we are- just... **tell me** over text or the phone before I lose my mind ok? I was scared to death that something far worse than this had happened,"

"Fine........" Yura repeated with an annoyed groan

"Now if you're done lecturing me are we free to go? I've got something important to do,"

"Oh?" Viktor asked, mildly surprised

"Yeah, Leo's birthday is in a few hours, I have to apparently go BUY more pot brownies since I don't have enough time to MAKE more,"

.....

Oh, huh, look at that

Apparently that cartoony "steam coming out of ears when angry" look really _can_ happen in real life


End file.
